Cry of a woman

Wow! This is another of my notes i stumbled upon written far back as 2008.

This stuff still happens.Maybe my story will enable every girl,every woman stand up against it.Learn to speak out.

Enjoy.

CRY OF A WOMAN

I lay very still wishing he would get off me as quick as possible.I dreaded this moments but how could I explain it? I knew he knew I dint enjoy a moment of it but what could I do? I waited for the question I always heard at the end of it all " Sarah are you sure there is nothing you want to tell me?,You don't enjoy sex at all".I shook my head and mouthed the words " No".

I grew up in the hustle and bustle of the city of Lagos.My family were neither poor nor rich but we were content and my Dad always provided for us no matter what we wanted.Ours was a happy okay family until the arrival of Uncle Peter..Uncle Peter was my Dad's second cousin and he had just come back from the war in Liberia.With nowhere to go,Dad offered him a place in our home.We were all excited that we had a relative coming as we hardly saw any of our relatives.

My life never was the same after that everyday I remember the number of nights,I had my mouth covered to prevent me from screaming,I remember the tears dripping down my face.I was too scared to tell anyone even my siblings.Who would have believed me I was just 12?This went on for 6 years and every time uncle peter came I became a ghost of myself.I couldn't wait to leave home away from it all where I felt I could start afresh again.I was tempted more than once to tell my parents but I remembered uncle peter's threats and out of fear of them I said nothing.The years went by and I had to live with this brutal abuse from a man 28 years older than I was then.As I became of age I became a recluse.I was a shadow of my former self and shied away from the opposite sex.Sex wasn't a big deal to me and when my friends talked about it,little did they know I had done it all.

With time I left home and was able to get away from Uncle Peter.Did I think I would get away from the hurt and memories? I thought I would but easier said than done.As i grew older the memory never left and it affected any other relationship that came my way.I still wasn't brave enough to admit it out loud.I lived with it out of fear.........

My various relationships never stood the test of time because I never could really tell what exactly was the matter with me when it came to sexual intercourse.All I did was just lie down and sometimes my face was still crowded by the same fear of seeing Uncle Peters face.At a point I wish I could kill him as the hatred for him grew more and more as I grew older.I started to think of others he had probably done the same to and was still getting away with it.But I could do nothing like millions around me who had gone through the same we were all just in a middle of a big atmosphere with none to turn to.My life I knew would never be the same but i tried to struggle through that phase of my life and forge ahead.

The past still visited me daily especially at night when I thought still Uncle Peter would open my door,It didn't help matters as all my boyfriends couldn't put up with my screaming at night and my reluctance to have intercourse.For some I was branded a " witch"I cried myself to sleep so many nights and prayed to God above for justice.The ringing of the phone brought me out of my thoughts as I realized I had drifted away.I was totally unprepared for my Aunt's voice telling me her sweet husband had passed away.I found a smile forming on my face as I realized finally i was free from this devil in human clothing.I knew deep down it was over and I could learn to move ahead with my life and forget the past.I realized God had finally heard my cry.......



I didn't write this blog to hurt anyone's feelings the more or open up fresh wounds.I wrote it because it is something that happens in our everyday lives.As women we tend to hide it out of shame or out of the fact we would not be believed.Times are changing now and I think its high time we put an end to sexual abuse on us either as adults or kids.I think our kids have a right to be able to say what exactly is going on.

We all live in one fear or the other and have we really thought about how much this affects our present and future? Its best to be able to talk about these issues and I for one want to be able to tell any woman who has gone through this not to be afraid to speak out.Let go of that ugly past and look in to a bright future...Remain blessed

copyright; TitilayoAdebiyi2008